Frivolous Fun

Black Fringe Ribbon Trim Necklace by Akong

Beautiful feather headdress by Rebecca Jewell

Why I love Consuelo Castiglioni

The headline accompanying this photograph was enough to make my heart leapfrog into my mouth. Marne + H&M. Seriously, this has to be the one I pull my finger out for. Even if it's just to own a necklace or two.

But what really leapt off the page was what she is wearing herself. Could this be any better? The colour of the jumper, the patterned skirt, her hair. OK the earrings would drive me insane, and what I want to know is would she consider wearing this with tights? Or, is she granite like and goes bare legged? If so does that not look odd with a coat? Like a wool sleeveless polo neck. Of course the chances of her needing a coat as she runs for the 7am train on a sub zero morning, before climbing 4 flights of stairs into an over heated classes room are zero. I often think the life of a fashionista is totally climate controlled and not subject to the extreme vagaries we lower down the food chain are.
I have to say the best decision I ever made was to switch to jumpers, from an almost pathological need to buy cardigans, and after a recent wobbly moment last week I am back on top form currently wearing jumpers over skirts, but mostly black.
Now I've seen this I may have to get back out some patterned skirts just to have my own Marni moment.

Failure to launch

Well, I could argue that the economic climate is not the best time to suddenly launch a career as an artist. But I was not prepared for the brutality that was to come. Despite the hoards walking round, little money exchanged hands, I'd spent the whole of Saturday night cutting out paper doves to make cards. I'd other designs too, but in the end ran out of time. Thankfully, as no one was buying cards, not just mine, but anywhere. I had completely misjudged the Christmas Craft Fair, it was mostly jewellery and commercially imported merchandise. The only thing selling was cupcake candles, soap and lavender bags. Maybe some scarves but that was all. Neither stall either side of me made enough to cover costs. Luckily I did. What was laughable was how many stopped ooh ed and aah ed but didn't even buy a card.
My sister was stoic, she came with food and stood with me for 4 hours. Emin drove me and helped price things up, which was nice since the previous night I had called him a thoughtless prick. Both Kitty and Leyla called me to see how it was going, which was sweet. The main shock was that it was not a craft fair for people who make things, it was just a cash cow for the organisers. lesson learnt.

I have learnt 2 other important lessons.
1. I must have a website, this is a no brainer and Emin has offered to build one after the new year, he is surprisingly keen to launch my art career, so I know he will do it.
2. Everything is now packed and ready to go, this took hours but has now made me realise it can be done. I have through numerous conversations found 3 more venues that would work better for my work. I'm going to do some research this coming weekend and then after the website is up and running go for it.

Friday was a triumph of sorts. A great meal at Les Deux Salons, even Kitty agreed. I treated my sister and I to a glass of Champagne which was what I had looked forward to all week. She was more deserving having lost £8000 of business in one day. I think she will be schmoozing a client this week to make up for it, poor soul.
The play (Comedy of Errors) I have mixed feeling about. 3/5 is a fair I think. The stage as always was great, just brilliantly done. The acting was either 'very good' or 'not great', but it rolled along nicely. After 5 min's Kitty leaned across and said "are they going to talk like this all night?" I panicked but then she relaxed and just let it wash over her. Despite the lack of understanding she really enjoyed herself, and may join us again, but only if they talk in English!!
My biggest concern about the play was one scene that they had set in a brothel, this is fine, kids need to know they exist, (and there were a lot of children there that night.) What was disconcerting was the man in the 'gimp mask' seriously was that necessary? Luckily Leyla didn't see it so I was let off that very interesting conversation!

The view from here

I'm running late, this is a good thing. I have driven to work, which takes less than 20 minutes, as opposed to train and walk which takes over 40 minutes. I woke up to hear the 5.30am train moving off. I am so tuned into the trains that leave the station that backs onto our garden it's quite scary.
I reach for my phone and decide to treat myself to a lie in, so I reset the alarm for 6.30am. Yes, that's what constitutes a lie in! And indeed I do go back to sleep. A deep precious sleep that can only be achieved and appreciated after waking early. In fact I slept like a log most of the night having had an astonishingly stressful day, the details are boring, but after taking Leyla to her violin lesson I bought a bottle of white wine and a pizza, and kicked back in front of the television. Fuck making Christmas cards, I needed a break.

So drinking my coffee looking at the view from my classroom window rather than reading the papers online I see the sun streaming through onto my Ficus, with my fake orchids behind. I love the colours so grab my camera.
The fake orchids are stuck into a real orchid, the flowers of which I have only been seen twice, and they were quite grim. I'm too afraid to re-pot it, despite the fact it's one large root ball, in case I kill it. So it sits, sulking on my cupboard and so to teach it a lesson I stuck some silk flowers in it!
I have driven in so I can take home my boxes of stuff to sell at the craft fair. Lucy has tried to drum up trade by posting it on Facebook. If it all works out I will pay off my MA fees, if not it may just be enough to buy me a sausage sandwich. Watch this space.

Tim Walker

Tim Walker goes to Mongolia.

When I saw this photograph my jaw dropped, it's just so beautiful. I bought Vogue because it's choc full of the most amazing images. The story behind them is remarkable too. They travelled to Mongolia, to go so far with so much luggage and get these photograph is a triumph.
I have wondered if Tim Walker wasn't running on empty recently as he does seem to rely on props to create a story. These photographs prove he should get out more as they are so much better than some of his previous work.

Whilst we were in Istanbul Emin asked why I bother taking photographs, when I do so little with them. He's right, I should make more effort to at least make a blurb book. I'm hoping the MA may help give me a direction, we shall see.

I am still frantically wrapping up old collages, some over 8 years old. I have so far found and wrapped 120 pieces, plus made some ginky cards. I would've liked to have packed up more peices, including some oils, but I'm running out of time and part of me, the negative fatalistic part thinks what's the point.

Looking back over my old work has made me realise how much I miss watercolour painting, so I think I will try and do some in Cyprus, (snow and fog willing) The early dark nights should focus my mind, no distractions I hope, that's what I am looking forward to the most right now. Oh, and Comedy of Errors at the National Theatre on Friday night with the girls. I have booked Les Deux Salons as it's Leyla's favourite for the burgers, which she has declared the best in the world.

My sister has had a rough week so I think I may have to treat her to a champagne cocktail.

Finally my favourite bit so far from my new book by A.C.Grayling is, do you believe in the tooth fairy? No? Then why do you believe in God?

The post where I have to admit I have lost any sense of self control

These I will keep.

It all started inauspiciously enough, I was on my way to the NPG to look at the recently opened Taylor Wessing Portrait prize exhibition as well as listen to two of the photographers discuss their work. This exhibition has become a double edged sword for me on the one hand I love looking at the photographs, on the other should one of mine not be there? I did enter this year, but did not submit the image because it just looked crap on a larger scale. I am aiming for next year all guns blazing, or not.

I digress.

Because I never read anything properly, I'd made some stupid assumption the tour started at 5.30pm, which would be logical since most teachers have a long way to commute into London. Sadly, it started at 5.00pm. So I ran in only to not find anyone, no one knew where they were, and I was told to go in and wait inside the exhibition. I waited for half an hour but no tour appeared. I decided they must be in the lecture theatre and since I was hot and very stressed and had for some reason a crippling stomach ache, I limped home, tail between my legs and walked the dog, smarting from having wasted £7 on travel and even more money in COS.

What made it worse was I was outside the gallery at 4.45pm, but then decided to run up to the London Graphic Center to buy some spray varnish for some work I am attempting to sell. I shot through Waterstones and bought a book and of course was then lulled by poisonous sirens into COS. In the heat of the moment I bought a tunic dress and a knitted dress. Impulse. So I was both poorer and missed the talk.

I put the irritation to the back of mind, but then this morning I woke up and stood frozen like a rabbit in the headlights in front of my wardrobe. It's not that I do not have anything to wear. I have felt 100% positive about all my sartorial style until today, but this morning something cracked under the strain, and the reason is.... Historically I have always felt cold, I'm only comfortable in warmer climes, but it has been my misfortune to spend the last 7 years in a classroom with no heating. I am therefore programed to buy wool anything really. Dresses, jumpers, skirts, even Nora batty tights all worn over up to two thermal layers.

So what has changed?

For a start weather has not got much colder, balmy climes most days, second, I have a feeling they may have fixed the heating but worse of all I feel like I am going to combust most days, so I feel it has all gone horribly wrong. I am hot, so hot I can now only wear 40 denier tights, plus I have to fling my cardie off every 5 minutes. I no longer wear a vest let alone two, and I often have to open a window at work. YES it's the menopause. But how do I know this will last? Do I buy the wool just in case? But then I feel like I have wasted my money. I itch to wear the new stuff, but I feel like I'm going to explode the minute it goes on, so I get ready, then get ready again. I was so pissed off this morning, I stand there looking at all the clothes I have bought yet cannot wear and having been fine for weeks now I feel it has all fallen apart.

On top of this I have started to wake up in the night and then lie in bed raging against the lack of self control I have, and then I think does it really matter? Then I start to think what am I doing with my life? Why am I even here? ON and ON it goes.

So I have written it all down, it's now in a box and I just have to get ready for Sundays craft fair. because lets face it, that is my problem, the though that I will stand and sell nothing and then have to lug home all the stuff I have spent hours wrapping and wonder why I am even bothering, why don't I just read a book and give it all up.

Oh and yes, I did get dressed eventually, I think I will return one jumper and one dress, please, please pray I can find the receipt and return them, and more importantly walk past Eileen Fisher, because those clothes are gorgeous especially for a menopausal woman!!

Istanbul .....the locals

Those two dogs were enjoying a game of tug of war!

Fishing, fishing fishing, everywhere.

It was still alive!!

That is all the photographs I am posting, there were more, but I think it gets a bit boring after a while.

Having almost thought I was on top of the paperwork another list appeared pretty much at the same time the books needed marking, so posty light again.