Saturday, 4 August 2007

Tagged for real!

Fiona from Tagged me for real so that will teach me to be patient since I so cleverly tagged myself in June so lets embellish

1. I have no friends well how is it possible? work, kids, family, Where is the time I have friends as in work colleagues I consider my best friend to be my sister Lucy, we know we are there for each other most of the time although she has picked up the pieces of my relationship with Emin so often that is a no go zone. She is generous to a fault in all other areas. Most couples tend to have friendship groups but Emin tends to put people off only those with a strong stomach tolerate and enjoy his company.
2. I would rather live in Paris most people think I dislike the french but its more that I just do not understand them or their language but I have been to Paris many many times and would love to live their even if it is only for a year. Daisy loves all things french too and being a bright spark may go there for a gap year to improve her french. If you were to ask anyone in my family they would probably think I would like to live by the sea which would be nice but my no 1 English destination of choice is Cambridge, town of my birth.
I do love the house I live in now and adore the location, it has made my kids so independent but inside is not good. I have had little say about style or content and although I dream of winning the lottery and leaving for a place of my own I don't play just in case, because to leave the house would be to leave Leyla and that I do not want to do. It is so true what Virginia Wolfe wrote A room of ones own is esential for a woman to write or in my case paint.
3. I used to have a 26inch waist In my early 20s I became depressed and very over weight. Having grown up a tall and slender child I was never skinny but neither did I carry much fat I was very very sporty and ate a very healthy diet thanks to my mother, but after hitting the bright lights I hit the bottle and the junk food for comfort and confidence. Two life threatening illnesses within the space of 4 month's led to an evaluation of this hedonistic lifestyle and thanks to Rosemary Connolly I became slim and trim. The saddest part of this was that no one told me I looked good so I did not appreciate what I achieved, I seem to have limped from one destructive partner to another. I tell my children they are beautiful everyday so that they do not grow up riddled with self loathing.
4. I like bird watching as a child I had the AA guide to the birds of Great Britain I could name every bird, every location and every characteristic of each bird, I still can. This was the start of my many many obsessions, I tend to obsess over random subjects and topics. It normally costs money, lots of it, over the years, they have included wine, gardening( I can still name most plants in Latin) vintage Fisher Price Toys, vintage Victorian underwear (worn as outer wear) buying clothes on Ebay, blue pattern china, concert T shirts, camisoles, photography,incl cameras and paper. If only I could Channel this energy it into money making adventures and stop spending.
5. I like to go places and not tell anyone again this stems from a childhood habit of wandering around the countryside for hours. From the age of eight I lived in a small village in West Yorkshire,so it was easy and safe to walk for miles often without seeing another soul. I suppose I have always been a restless spirit and so my aimless wanderings have continued into adulthood, why I so often want them to remain a secret is a mystery to me to me too but my mother tells me my grandmother was the same so it must be in the genes
6. I never stop worrying about my children's welfare Does any mother? I know I come across as quite a laid back mother, my children are completely different to me when I was their age, and thank God for that. They are very open and eager to talk and often more sensible than me.
7. No one I know knows I write this blog which is very liberating and allows me a certain level of honesty I would not otherwise enjoy. So why write it at all? It has no theme, no direction but my aim was to document a slice of me. I have never had a clean bill of health,(kidney problems, ruptured ectopic etc etc) 7 years ago I found a lump in my breast and left it for 4 months, returning from Korea I was bored enough on the flight back to watch Stepmom not a brilliant film but I realised that the lump was not about me, but my children. I was so lucky it was benign and although my right breast is a cup size smaller I know I am so very lucky and currently as fit as a butchers dog. So the point? I want my children to know what I am like really like and this will be my quilt.

So there you have it, I know it is customary to tag 7 more lovely blogger's but everyone I read appears to have done this so thank you Fiona. Now I need to pack....

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