Honestly?

The lovely Belette Rouge tagged me to spill a little honesty. Mmm As a consummate liar this should be easy peasy...although once I had a think I came to the conclusion that honesty for me is a euphemism for things that piss me off. So I have tried to reign myself in a little.

1. I miss Christmas. There I said it, in fact I told him last week, I hate not having a tree, I hate not decking the hall with boughs of holly, I hate not having twinkling lights draped across the fireplaces.
I do not however miss the stress of trying to conjure up the miracle of Christmas, though. For years I tried everything to create something magical One year I took the girls to a large country house hotel the whole works. Cost a fortune, The room had a four poster bed and even had a fireplace and do you know what Kitty remembers? That Daisy and her cousin got posh barbies and all she got was a Polly pocket fairy tale castle. Seriously she has fed and nurtured that grudge for years. This year they are going to Dorset to spend Christmas with their step mothers parents, this is a good thing because both houses are HUGE one even has gold taps which is what my daughters measure success by. So pressure off, but still I wistfully gaze through the windows of others...

2. I honestly could not be this lazy without quite frankly, the most amazing assistant in the world, as I type inane mundanities she is lashed to a photocopier preparing my next lesson. I really need to buy her something big for Christmas, no?

3. I honestly really rather love walking the dog. I martyr myself daily so I pray he does not read this, the dog is currently acting as cover for a new photography project, without him I think I would be arrested.

4. Don't laugh but I am currently try to teach Leyla the grammar section of her 11 plus, I am officially crap and am only just unravelling the difference between a noun, pronoun, verb etc etc etc.. Thank you Bramham County Primary School for providing me with such a crap education.

5. I don't drink enough water, I just don't like drinking it unless I'm thirsty which at this time of year I'm not, all I crave is tea and coffee. The thing is my skin looks so much better if I do drink water, it looks far more hydrated than when I moisturise, yet I lack the discipline to keep myself in check. My kidneys too are screaming after sharing a couple of bottles of wine this weekend. Historically my kidneys are fucked thanks to some seriously shit doctors who failed consistently to treat a litany of infections when I was younger. Don't laugh but our homeopath finally managed to cure the problem, for that alone she deserves a knighthood.
I am now toying with the idea of going tea total over Christmas, I always do when I go to Cyprus, but that's because it's so bloody hot when I normally go, so all I crave is water. There are no bars or restaurants that serve my favourite tipple out in back of beyond so I will have to take what I need. Do boxes of wine travel or do they explode at high altitude? You can just imagine the look on his face as I exit duty free with cocktail cabinet of spirits, but with his sister coming needs must.

6. I love Alan Bennett and managed to watch some of his television stuff Sunday night, A Day Out is just sublime viewing.

7. I sulk if I don't get my own way

8. I did not get that job with the Arts Council, I am officially trapped in my world.

9. I wish I had worked abroad before I had children, I love being a mother but it does limit your horizons somewhat, or maybe I am just using them as an excuse. I feel that I am now wishing my life away just to start travelling, which I can only do once they all bugger off, which lets face it since Leyla is only 8 will be when I retire.

10. Honestly? If I did not eat so much chocolate I too could have a figure like Elle Macpherson. Chocolate is my downfall.