Art School

Monday is commonly known as Black Monday because it is the last week before payday mixed up with post Christmas blues. I am nothing if not resourceful and have learnt that to limp through these cold, dark, wet, cold miserable months you need something to look forward too. Like a child starting a new school I checked my list 5 times and then set of for art school.
There was good, there was bad, nothing is perfect, but I can tell you that for 2 1/2 hours my mind emptied of all but exercising the demons of my past hideous experiences with oil paint.
I have only used oils once at college, it was not pretty. However I hate acrylic and the desire to paint has increased the older I get. recent efforts have ended up with me fumbling like a teenager at a school disco, so decided I needed to get some lessons.
Was it good? Yes it was great, imagine a large white studio easel palette all ready for action, the down side was the tutor appears unable to construct a coherent sentence and he brought in for us to paint a box of bloody Swan Vesta matches! Hell that took some thought. If I am teaching tone I give the students plain white objects and at least attempt to control the light source ( yes I am an arrogant bitch) Despite this I diligently set forth and set myself up a still life to paint.
Crime number two, he told us to outline with a sign writers brush over 2 inches long, as someone who struggles to cope with a normal brush I quietly eschewed that option.
We are a merry band of 16, mostly students with myself and another golden oldie.
I pushed and pulled the paint and finally managed to resolve some areas. I was mortified to realise that my perspective was 'out' and then at the end even more mortified to see I had centralised the composition, oh the shame, after all I say to the students. All said though an amazing experience.
I learnt a lot about painting, the tutor was far more comfortable teaching one to one, but regards teaching I would never survive as a college tutor, how do I know this? Well at the end quite frankly I would a begged the question as to;

• WHY having been told to paint the outline did someone draw it?
• WHY were half the compositions floating in space?
• WHY when given an A4 sheet of paper students drew the matchboxes smaller than the original in some cases?
• WHY were so many students so obsessed with drawing the stupid swan when the class was about tonal planes?
• WHY did two students choose to paint the whole thing one shade of grey?
• WHY did so many students use the paint as if it were watercolour?

You see I could not have kept my big mouth closed, I would have railed against these crimes, the tutor on the other hand looked only for the good, but my year 9 students would have eaten him as a light snack and spat his bones out in less than it takes to open their sketch books!
Next week we get to use yellow ochre...whopee.