Friday, 2 December 2011

The view from here

Have you ever noticed that when times are tough at work, you find you can cope? Maybe only just, but books get marked, children get taught and paperwork is filed, worst of all data is compiled. All this and plus have staff who need suporting too. Then you go to a meeting and you talk the talk and bullshit with the best of them, then the person opposite suddenly says, "you're clearly under a lot of pressure with little support, it must be difficult" It was like being hit by a steam train. BANG, it dawned on me that yes, I was working hard with little support. My reaction at the tiniest skerrick of empathy is to blub. However I managed to suck it back up and soldiered on, but inside it can feel overwhelmingly hard sometimes.
As a result of the additional work I have struggled to go up to London, (especially Selfridges) to photograph the Christmas windows. I could have gone last Wednesday as strike action closed my after school class at college, however I realised too late and ended up spending a very fruitful couple of hours in the Library. I feel like I have paid to be a member of the most expensive library in the world since the tuition has been crap, so far it has been the only benefit. This weekend I was planning on going Christmas shopping with Kitty. She has shown a remarkable reluctance to enter into the gift giving fray, but after digging away at her for a week it transpires she is terrified of buying the wrong thing. Apparently for too long she has put on a brave face on receiving unwanted presents and thinks everyone will feel the same about whatever she buys. I told her that few people turn there noses up at posh chocolates or other food. I have often shopped in a lovely deli on Jermyn street for small but delicious edible gifts. She remains very unconvinced! I have to say I never had any qualms about the presents I bought, for me the pleasure was wholly in the purchase, once wrapped I didn't give it a seconds thought.
Anyhow she has blown me out for a cinema trip with her step mother, such is the dog eat dog world of parenting.
So I am shopping alone at the weekend. I am doing a reconnaissance on two markets. Ledenhall in the city and then Sunday I hope to go and see what there is in Spitalfields. I will take a camera as it has been far too long since I took photographs for pleasure.
I have just remembered I do have Christmas Carols at St Martins-in-the -Field on Saturday with Leyla, so looking forward to some sushi afterwards.
Finally I am wearing the jumper I swore I would return, the reason? It's much colder, in fact this time last year it snowed. I also realised I was trying to wear it with the wrong trousers. Instead of narrow, it needed wide legged ones of which fortuitously I had.
I am still at work with some year 11 girls desperately try to make a clay shoe! I'm crap with clay but I have done my best and now need a glass of wine before an early night. I am shattered.


materfamilias said...

Oh yes, coping against impossibility and then the wee bit of sympathy breaks the dam. Yup, got that!
As for the daughters and the gift-giving, interesting, I have one as well who has a hard time with gift decisions and Christmas is always an effort for her. In fact, she's debating opting out entirely this year, to her siblings' irritation/dismay.
Christmas Carols? at St. Martin in the Fields? You know how lucky you are, don't you?!

Mardel said...

Christmas carols at St. martins in the Fields sounds divine.