Well two more down, just Kitty and I left. Daisy has gone skiing in 70cm of fresh snow in Austria the dog has gone to Emin's sisters house, so no more mopping up pee and sick and picking up huge mountains of poo. I have had a week of deep exasperation, 4 days of GCSE exams incarcerated in a room of talentless numnty's well maybe not all, but some of the dialogue I have had to endure is beyond belief.
Leanne is a small mousey haired child without humour. She has a vicious tongue and is mostly very rude and rarely works without a fight. She missed the first day of the exam and the school had to threaten the mother with a fine to get Leanne to come in, which she did with a great reluctance.
Me "so Leanne what are you going to do for your exam?"
Leanne "don't know Miss"
Me "show me what you have done for your preparation work"
Leanne "I ain't done much Miss, well actually, I ain't done nothing"
Me "What question are you doing?"
Me "So what aspect of Japan would you like to paint? landscape, Pagoda's or blossom?"
Leanne " That mountain"
Me " Mount Fuji?"
Leanne "Yeah whatever"
So because I am nice and kind I go onto Flickr and search for photographs Mount Fuji, I print three photographs Leanne chooses one, I blow it up to A2 and she traces it. I explain she will have to flip it over and trace it onto her paper.
Leanne " But Miss It will come out the wrong way round"
Me Well that is what happens, is it a problem?"
Leanne " Yeah I want it the right way round"
Me " Well you will have to redraw it on the reverse and then trace it onto the paper"
Leanne " That will take ages"
Me "Yes Leanne but if you insist that it has to be the right way round then that is what you have to do"
Leanne, Big fat sigh " Great"
And so the lovely Leanne does just that
The drawing is complete and so Leanne enquires as to what paint to use, I suggest as she lacks confidence that she should use watercolour.
I turn my back for five minutes and she has plastered a great big splodge of blue paint on the right hand corner.
Leanne" Oh great now I can't see the lines"
Me "Yes you can"
Leanne "No I can't"
I then get the brush, water down the splodge and dilute the paint. I have very poor eye sight and the lines are clearly visible.
Leanne " No I still can't see them"
Me "Well I can and I am sure you can finish the wash of colour and then paint the line in Ink"
Leanne, Big fat sigh "I ain't doing this"
30 Min's later I see Leanne washing the tracing paper because she cannot rub out the back she scribbled on, then she stoically redraws the lines
Leanne " See I can see them now what do I paint them with?"
Me "Indian Ink"
Leanne "Does it come out your clothes?"
Me " No"
Leanne, Big fat sigh "great"
It took Leanne 2 whole days to trace an A2 photograph and paint it three colours, she is about a third of the way through applying Indian Ink to create the silhouette.
I have had over thirty students to supervise, trust me it was no picnic!