Thursday, 1 July 2010

Three Degrees of Separation

Mother gave me a box of slides which because my scanner is just a genius I am able to scan and print. Many of the slides are mediocre some are just LOL and some pleasantly evoke memories from a long long time ago.

I try not to indulge in too much cod psychology on this blog but these images really struck a chord. I think the reason I don't get too upset about the lack of a relationship with my mother is because my relationship with Emin is so strong and I have become close to my youngest sister (thumb sucker!) The three degrees of separation are beautifully illustrated here.
  • On the left is one of many images my father took of me as a child, he clearly loved snapping away I have Polaroids, film and slides all of us growing up. They seem to come to a halt when I hit my teens, which is when he first left, guess the shine of his new family finally tarnished. My mother at best could be described as brittle but in this first image she appears warmer than I remember.
  • The central image and you can clearly see the damage is done, she has said that she does not remember holding me once my sisters were born. She was exhausted looking after 3 children and in the end tough love was the easiest love. I can clearly see I was still clinging on here, I recognise that body language from Leyla when I am with D&K but I make time to lie down with all of them because I know what it feels like to have love then be frozen out.
  • The last image is taken whilst touring the Black Forest in Germany. I vividly remember that not being much fun, I ached to visit the castles and my tight fisted father refused, as he did my desire to buy a national costume. I vomited many times from car sickness, endured countless hideous farmhouse breakfast ( I was a cereal girl through and through)This image really sums up the isolation, you will not find another picture of my mother and I close together, damage done.


La Belette Rouge said...

I love to ask patients to bring in family pictures as seeing the family dynamics in photos gives me so much clinical pictures. In my family snaps there are no pictures of me being held by my mother. Most pictures of me with my father are him pushing me away. There is a family therapist named Virginia Satir. In her work she resculpts the family and moves peoples closer together and farther apart and changing the order of people. She does this to make the dominant patterns conscious and to see what happens when the family sculpture is rearranged.
p.s. I have really enjoyed our conversation about mom and Emin.

indigo16 said...

I thought my supposition was a bit trite but I do seriously think a lot can be seen by the camera and the idea Virginia Satir has is inspired. I would LOVE to have the photoshop skills to change some of these images just to see how the dynamic changes.